Marriage Made at Pepperdine

-By Julie Osterman

In reality, as when playing Hasbro's "The Game of Life," there can be many unexpected twists and turns. Hearts are broken. Friendships are forged. Relationships begin, and end, and begin again. And sometimes, when all the pieces on the board are arranged just right, a connection is made and true love flourishes. For almost two thousand alumni, Pepperdine University is the place they met and courted their spouses.

Their stories of how they met, how they knew they had found "the one," and where they are today are classic tales- here are three stories from married alumni couples.

DENNIS LOWE AND EMILY SCOTT-LOWE

Pepperdine's cafeteria, now dubbed the Waves Café, may evoke memories for many alumni, but for Seaver College graduates Dennis Lowe and Emily Scott-Lowe, who have been married twenty-seven years, it was more than just a casual meeting place.

"We had our first kiss in the cafeteria," Dennis said with a smile. "Doesn't everybody?"

It was October 1972, the first year Pepperdine held classes on the Malibu campus, and freshman Emily Scott was pledging a sorority. As was customary then, sorority pledges were sent to kiss a male student as part of the initiation process. Aware of this tradition, Dennis, a sophomore, conveniently mentioned to Emily's sorority president that he wouldn't mind if the young coed was directed his way. "I came to breakfast one morning, and they sent Emily over to kiss me, and she was not happy about it at all," he continued. "She was muttering, 'Mr. Lowe, I have to kiss you.' So she did, right there in the cafeteria."

However, the furious Ms. Scott refused to speak to him after that, and a contrite Dennis desperately tried to make up for the humiliation she had suffered. As the two psychology majors worked through the situation, a relationship blossomed. "The next week Dennis asked me for a date," said Emily, who grew up in Memphis and came to Pepperdine not knowing a soul.

"And the rest, as they say, is history."

Reflecting on the scenario from his living room couch, Dennis wondered if something like this could happen on a large university campus. "It was the whole dynamic of being here, knowing a few people, and this person being connected to you," said Montana-born Dennis, who also lived in Idaho before he moved to Southern California at age 13. "All of this was happening in this unique setting. . I think the Pepperdine atmosphere was very embracing."

Emily added that they were both involved in Christian activities on campus, which helped reinforce the spiritual aspect of their relationship. "Dennis was head of the spiritual life committee in SGA," she said. "We went to church together, devotionals together, so it was just this wonderful extra layer."

Pepperdine was such a nurturing and positive environment for the couple that once they both had earned their master's and doctorate degrees-Dennis from the Graduate School of Education and Psychology (GSEP) and Florida State, respectively, and Emily from the University of Tennessee and Florida State-they returned to the Malibu campus to live and work.

Dennis, a GSEP professor of psychology, is director of the school's Center for the Family and marriage and family therapist (MFT) master's program, while Emily is a psychotherapist for the Student Counseling Center and adjunct instructor of human development for Seaver College and GSEP. The two also frequently speak together on marriage and parenting topics as part of the Center for the Family's training programs.

Parents of two boys-Taylor, 15, and Brennan, 11-the Lowes said that living on campus has been a blessing for raising a family, especially, Emily said, "the wonderful neighbors who were so supportive and helpful when the boys were babies."

This year, they celebrated twenty years of service to the University.

BRIAN AND LISA DUNN

In typical small-school fashion, there is but one degree of separation between the Lowes and Lisa (Stephenson) Dunn and her husband of seven years, Brian. Lisa and Brian, who graduated from Seaver College in 1996 and 1995, respectively, took a married couples class taught by the Lowes at the School of Law during their first year of marriage, when Brian was a law student and Lisa was working on her master's in psychology at GSEP.

"Lawyers have a very high divorce rate," Lisa explained. "It was like couples therapy, helping you to strengthen your marriage and prepare you."

The two met at Lisa's new student orientation (NSO) and courted after she returned from Heidelberg, where she spent her sophomore year. Brian found a job working on campus that summer for Special Programs, "mainly to stay in Southern California and woo her."

"It would be an understatement to say that Pepperdine played a huge role in our relationship," said Brian, who is now a lawyer for Demler Armstrong & Rowland LLP in Long Beach. "Not only did we meet at Pepperdine, but it helped me win my wife over, and then housed us after we were married." The Dunns lived in the George Page Apartments as the first married Pepperdine resident advisors their first two years of marriage.

Although they chose Pepperdine for graduate school for similar reasons, the two arrived at Seaver College from completely different paths. Brian, who grew up in the Bay area, planned to go to UCLA his whole life and just happened to apply to Pepperdine. Lisa, on the other hand, knew that she wanted to go to a private Christian school by the beach, and Pepperdine had always been at the top of her list. "I wanted to be close to home, but he wanted to be farther away," said Lisa, whose family lives in Arcadia, California. "[Brian] wanted an academic school; for me, it was more social."

Both took advantage of nearly every campus activity during their undergraduate years, from Care Group and the Campus Ministry retreat to Thursday night movies in Elkins, "Songfest," and Greek life, and they still enjoy coming back to campus for special events.

Lisa, a marriage and family therapist who works for the Orange County Bar Foundation as well as a Christian counseling center, recently spoke on a panel for a GSEP class (coincidentally one of Dennis Lowe's). Brian and Lisa also brought their seven-month-old son, Hunter, to Homecoming and Lectureships this year and are making travel plans for Lisa's ten-year Heidelberg reunion in 2004.

As new parents, the Dunns have found that, contrary to college days, their time is not their own anymore. "Our focus is totally Hunter now," said Lisa, who added that she and Brian waited six years to start a family. "I'm glad that we had all that time to build."

Brian admitted that it has been an amazing but difficult time. "When he's crying and you can comfort him and he smiles at you, you can't describe that feeling," he explained. "But when he's crying and you can't do anything, you can't describe that feeling either."

The new mother agreed, saying, "I think our big thing is patience . and we're still praying for it because you need a lot!"

BARNEY AND JANE BARNHART

Like the Dunns, Barney Barnhart and his wife, Jane, met within a few days of when Jane Verrall stepped foot on Pepperdine's campus. But it was a different time and place, as the year was 1949 and George Pepperdine College (GPC) was in Los Angeles.

The Verrall family had just moved to Westwood Village from Tennessee, and Jane was starting at GPC as a junior. She first set eyes on the Pepperdine football player when he was coming out of the Oasis and her roommate offered to introduce them. "I said 'sure' thinking he probably had rocks in his head," Jane admitted. "But he definitely didn't. He came jogging over, and I ended up talking to him until they made us come in at 10:15 p.m. [for curfew]. ... Within about two or three weeks, I had an idea about who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."

It actually was quite surprising that the two ended up at Pepperdine at all. Jane's father was a professor at UCLA and expected her to go there, and Barney, who grew up in Pennsylvania and enlisted in the Marine Corps in 1942, began his college career at USC. Yet Jane decided UCLA "just looked too huge" and soon moved into the GPC dorms, and Barney heard that the "little college down the street" was looking for players for its new football team.

"The coach looked me up and down and said, 'You wanna play football?'" Barney recalled. "I said, 'Yeah.' 'OK, you're in,' he said. That's how I got to Pepperdine."

The couple-who both spent many years in education, Barney teaching P.E. and Jane, elementary school-was married on Jane's graduation night, June 1, 1951, and celebrated fifty years together with a big party at Pepperdine's Heritage Hall in June 2001.

With three children and four grandchildren, the Barnharts have three generations of Pepperdine graduates in their family. Their son, Michael, earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from Pepperdine, and granddaughter Lauren Dees just graduated from Seaver College in December.

In addition to visiting the campus for Dees' senior art show and graduation this school year, Barney has attended weekly Pepperdine Ambassador's Council (PAC) meetings as an adviser for about ten years. He leads tours of the old L.A. campus for the new council members each year, and the entire group meets for lunch at the Barnharts' home in Long Beach or at fellow GPC graduate Paul Perry's house to get to know each other and learn more about Pepperdine history.

The first thing Jane noticed at the PAC luncheon last year was that none of the students mentioned marriage when talking about their plans for the future. "In our generation, most were engaged or at least pinned by their senior year," commented Jane. "Dating's a different game now!"

Barney, who retired from teaching in 1984, also helps plan GPC's annual "I Made It Through Another Year" luncheon, and the couple plans to attend the GPC Grand Celebration in September. Beyond that, their goals are simply to spend time with their family, help their grandchildren, and as Barney said, "just to keep on keeping on like I have been, and to stay involved with Pepperdine and all of the things I've been doing." .

-Julie (Broad) Osterman met her husband, Joel, during NSO her freshman year at Seaver College, and it was love at first Pepperdine sight.

Click [here] to view other married alumni couples.