Author and Speaker Arik Housley (’96) Shares on Grief, Resilience, and Hope at Two Seaver College Events
Arik Housley, author of the newly published book Always November, Lessons in Loss, Love, and Resilience, joined Seaver College’s campus community for a pair of events focused on grief, healing, and finding light in the midst of darkness.
Housley, the father of the late Pepperdine student Alaina Housley—who was killed during the 2018 mass shooting at the Borderline Bar & Grill in Thousand Oaks, California—offered remarks at the W. David Baird Distinguished Lecture Series, as well as the RISE Summit, an annual hallmark event of the Resilience-Informed Skills Education (RISE) Program. Throughout both events, he expounded on his personal story as a grieving parent, offering insights on how to go through what he called “post-traumatic stress growth.”
Housley is the author of the new book Always November
“Grief is a very heavy topic, but it’s something we’re not going to avoid in our lifetime,” said Housley. “I try to use my story to help people understand where we are and what's helped us move forward in our day to day.”
At the W. David Baird Distinguished Lecture, Housley retraced the events of November 7, 2018, recalling the night his daughter was killed. He told attendees the story of the tragic phone call he and his wife received in the middle of the night, the process of travelling to Southern California to identify Alaina, and the emotional aftermath that followed these life-altering events.
While sharing his account, Housley educated listeners with resilience tips that can be employed in the face of sudden onset grief. He talked about staying in the moment, fully encountering the first wave of emotions and pain; about the need to avoid the “dark road of why;” the haunting, unanswerable questions this sad path presents; and the idea that it’s okay not to be okay. While going through this grieving process, Housley also emphasized the importance of togetherness, or the ability to lean on a social support system of loved ones and friends to overcome the most challenging moments.
He described grief as a beach ball, something that can be shoved beneath the surface but will always pop up in the end—something that he will carry with him for the rest of his life. Because this pain is repeatedly experienced anew, Housley provided attendees with advice for how to support someone in need. Though grief is a different journey for everyone, he found that it was helpful when others made their supportive presence clear by saying something like, “I’m here for you.”
The lecture’s formal remarks ended with a conversation on faith. Housley specifically commented on how his Christian faith in the unseen has grown following his daughter's passing. He said that, in the midst of sadness, God “wrapped his arms” around him and his family.
The RISE Summit brought together Pepperdine's campus community
“It comes down to hope, faith, love, and resilience,” Housley said. “These are the things we try to move forward with because this is our everyday. We can choose to take this as part of our story, to own it, hurt with it, and feel joy at the same time.”
Following the morning session, Housley continued to educate Pepperdine as the keynote speaker at the 2026 RISE Summit. Focusing on the event’s theme of “From Loss to Light,” he, along with three community members—Hung Le (‘87, MA '03), senior vice chancellor; Lexington Russell (‘25), executive assistant to the vice president of student affairs; and Seaver student Josephine “JoJo” Billings—shared their personal testimonies of grief and choosing to seek hope amid hardships.
The discussion was deeply appreciated by Connie Horton ('82), vice chancellor and executive director of the RISE Institute. “From the moment I met Arik on his darkest day, I found his beautiful spirit inspiring,” said Horton. “Arik’s story of his experience after the unimaginable loss of his daughter, Alaina, illustrates resilience in a beautiful and poignant way. Through his authentic storytelling, you hear themes we teach in RISE, such as how his relationships, thoughts, spiritual experiences, and service helped him be resilient.”
Housley moderating a panel featuring Pepperdine community members
While leading the panel discussion among the speakers, Housley invited each participant to elaborate on their individual stories, while highlighting the common themes between them. He then asked the panelists to describe “God moments” present in their testimonies, “little miracles” that gave them hope through dark times, and how they each reconcile faith and grief.
“The light of resilience truly became part of who I am,” said Billings, as she recounted the devastating moment her lifelong dream of figure skating came to an abrupt end. While explaining the loss of identity she felt in the fallback, she added, “The light grew under pressure and through seasons of self-doubt. It taught me that resilience is not about perfection, but instead choosing to go to the light even when the path feels uncertain.”
Learn more about Pepperdine’s W. David Baird Distinguished Lecture Series and RISE Institute.